"Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me..."
Yes, this is my birth month. October 26, to be exact. I'll be 52 a week from today. I was asked by a co-worker today how I would celebrate it. Actually, I've not thought of anything yet. It's not like it's a "special number". The special number was two years. On my 50th birthday, I was playing for the funeral of a dear friend's mother. Doesn't seem possible that Miss Norma has been gone two years...
Tim's birthday was last Wednesday, October 14. He, too, would have been 52. A friend knew this to be Tim's birthday and asked me, "How are you going to handle it?"
"Same as I've handled it for five years." But it seems to be different every year -- the feeling of loss. That feeling ebbs and flows -- just as life does. Another friend simply emailed me on Tim's birthday and wrote six words: "With sweet thoughts of Tim today...". Very meaningful. Thank you, Brenda.
It's not that I'm against celebrating, I just don't think I want to do anything very special. Besides, it falls on a Monday, and I'm not usually up for anything "big" on a work night. At my age and stage of life, if I want anything, I will have to arrange it. Seems like too much work.
Actually, what I'd like to do is to plant pansies in my garden. Miniature pansies. The purple and yellow variety. Pansies are the "flower of thoughtful reflection". What a lovely thought. I like the idea of planting pansies in October and thoughtfully remembering my friends who also have birthdays in October -- and indeed, all of my friends. Maybe Saturday would be a good day for that...
To all my October Birthday Buddies: Mom, Tim (who are now both deceased), Sarah, Sandy, Ben Scholl, Ben C., my friends at work, James, Mary Beth, Ryan, Grant, Sherri, and Sharon ~ ~ ~ "Birthday Blessings!"